Thursday, September 15, 2005

Drag of a Mayor Shakes Down Coffee House

The smiling mug to your left is that of Round Rock Mayor Lyle Maxwell. Though he deserves to be poorly cropped, it was Maxwell's own staff that butchered his head shot, not me.

For those of you not from Austin, Round Rock is the suburban bedroom community to our north where poopy-pantsed moral infants on the school board try to ban Maya Angelou books. As Frank Zappa would say, it's a great place to raise your kids up.

Last Friday, Sarah Roberts, the proprietor of Saradora's Coffeehouse & Cafe in Round Rock's quaint town square, decided to host the first known drag show in the history of Williamson County. The show attracted about 150 people and received considerable media attention in the area.

From most accounts, the show's content was no less family-friendly than the pep rally tradition of having the football team dress up as girls from the rival school to graphically demonstrate how fugly they are. Drag only becomes a family values issue in the hands of professionals.

Tuesday morning, Mayor Maxwell decided to have a friendly chat with Roberts.

"Sarah, you've got to look out after your business," he recounts telling her in yesterday's Austin American-Statesman. "You've hit a lot of people's radar screens."

Maxwell also said, "The constituents we've heard from are concerned about the immorality of it, that it's promoting homosexuality."

Shortly after Maxwell's visit to Saradora, Round Rock fire inspectors showed up to perform their first inspection since the coffee house opened a decade ago. They found the drag show violated code because the building's capacity was only 84 people. Roberts wasn't fined because no one told her that was the capacity. She said many past events there also attracted more than 84 people, including Christian rock shows and weddings one can safely assume were between man and wife just like the Gub'ner likes it.

Clearly, the intent of the mayor's visit and the subsequent selective enforcement of city fire codes is to scare Roberts into never having another drag show. To her credit, Roberts hasn't ruled out a repeat performance if there's enough demand. I'd be more than willing to drive my rock combo up to Round Rock and sing the Doobie Brothers' "Jesus is Just Alright" in drag if that's what it takes to bring folks together.

In case you didn't know, Maxwell is also president and CEO of Maxwell Auto Group, which runs eight car dealerships around Austin. Would you buy a used car from this man?

5 comments:

Karla said...

His neck seems to be swallowing his chin whole.

Kim said...

Based on the picture alone I would not buy any car from this man.

Sharon said...

To add another twist the story, the "immoral" Drag Show was in honor of Barbette (Vander Clyde). He was probably the only person of real cultural significance to ever come out of Round Rock. In fact, many of Man Ray's most lauded photos were of Barbette. For an encapsulated bit of his history, check this out:
http://www.tsha.utexas.edu/handbook/online/articles/CC/fcl54.html

jennifer said...

I would not buy a used car from any man named Lyle.

Chox said...

I was straight until I found my mom's old 60's wig, some pumps, and a muumuu one sunny day back in 1977. I put on "Come See About Me" by the Supremes and danced around my room, and promptly tripped over a matchbox car. I hit my head on my dresser, effectively knocking myself out. When I came to, I found myself attracted to Gene Reyburn.

Moral of the story: Matchbox cars left on the floor will make you gay.

And that's about enough out of me.