Wha'happen?

As anyone who has been following this here blog has undoubtedly surmised by now, I'm putting Beetsolonely on ice.

When I started doing this back in 2005, I was a single man with plenty of spare time. As such, I was free to scour the web for ephemeral tidbits of intrigue or rant at length about politics, religion, smart growth or problems with the cable company. It was intrinsically rewarding and I enjoyed doing it.

Now I'm married and father to a 1-year-old. My job is more challenging and more complex - if not financially rewarding - than it used to be. A few freelance writing gigs have popped back up. And somehow, I'm playing in two bands. One thing I'm most definitely not is lonely.

All of this is to say I just don't have time to give this blog the time and energy it needs to thrive even at the middling levels of a year or two ago. Even if I did have time, I don't think I could actually grow a blog of this nature into something that would justify the time investment. I think we've gone about as far as we're going here.

This isn't to say I won't blog again at some point. I like the idea of doing some sort of group blog that has more of a focus than this one, but this is basically it for Beetsolonely. All of the old stuff will continue to live here for as long as Blogger or its future incarnation lets it.

Thanks to everyone who ever read one of my posts and extra special thanks to the regular readers and to anyone who ever left a comment - even the trolls. It's been a fun ride.

So...um....I guess this is goodbye. No, I'm not crying - it's just allergies.

-30-

Fave Five Food Deals - 4/6/11

Austin may be lagging in rainfall, but there's a shower of savings in this week's supermarket circular round-up.

1. Texas Rio Red grapefruit, .25/ea. at Sprouts (through 4/13/11)

2. Minneola tangelos or organic navel oranges, .49/lb. at Sun Harvest (through 4/13/11)

3. Green beans or sweet potatoes, .88/lb. at Sprouts (through 4/13/11)

4. Asparagus, .99/lb. at Sprouts (through 4/13/11)

5. Boneless rib eye steak, $4.99/lb. at Sunflower (through 4/13/11)

Also, if you don't feel like cooking and don't want to eat fast food, Central Market's Dinners for Two are on sale this week for $10.99, a savings of $3 off the regular price. Daily offerings vary, but I can vouch for the puerco guisada meal they're doing on Saturday. The sale price is good through Apr. 12.

Austin supermarket links (directs to weekly ads where available):
El Rancho Supermercado
Fiesta
H-E-B
Natural Grocers
Sunflower Farmers Market
Randall's
Sprouts Farmers Market
Sun Harvest
Wheatsville Food Co-Op
Whole Foods Market

Fave Five Food Deals - 3/25/11

Keep a tight lid on rising food prices with a few hits of Austin's finest supermarket deals.

1. Navel oranges, .49/lb. at Sprouts and Sun Harvest (through 3/30/11)

2. Texas 1015 yellow onions, .69/lb. at Whole Foods (through 3/30/11)

3. Green or red leaf lettuce, .88/lb. at Sun Harvest (through 3/30/11)

4. Boneless skinless chicken breasts, $1/lb. at El Rancho Supermercado (through 3/29/11)

5. Sun Harvest popcorn or kettle corn, .99/ea. at Sun Harvest (through 3/30/11)

Also, in a "spirited" attempt to mimic Trader Joe's Two Buck Chuck, Sprouts is now carrying something called Broke Ass Wines for $5 a bottle. And if your ass is even broker than that, pick up sixer of Sierra Madre beer for just $3.99 at Sprouts this week. That's almost as cheap as Walgreens' Big Flats 1901!

Austin supermarket links (directs to weekly ads where available):
El Rancho Supermercado
Fiesta
H-E-B
Natural Grocers
Sunflower Farmers Market
Randall's
Sprouts Farmers Market
Sun Harvest
Wheatsville Food Co-Op
Whole Foods Market

Hitler Longs for SXSW of Yore

I know the Hitler meme is rubbed in the ground, but this SXSW edition from UrgentGenius is pretty hilarious. Enjoy it now before producers throw down the inevitable cease and desist.

Fave Five Food Deals - 3/16/11

Welcome to the SXSW edition of Fave Five Food Deals. No badges or RSVPs required.

1. Navel oranges, .49/lb. at Sun Harvest (through 3/23/11)

2. Hill Country Fare split chicken breasts, $1/lb. at H-E-B (through 3/22/11)

3. Organic Braeburn apples, .88/lb. at H-E-B (through 3/22/11)

4. Green seedless grapes, .99/lb. at Sun Harvest (through 3/23/11)

5. White onions, 8 lbs. for $1 at El Rancho Supermercado (through 3/22/11)

Also, if you have to have corned beef and cabbage for St. Patrick's Day, Randall's has corned beef brisket tips on sale for $1.99/lb. and green cabbage on sale for .39/lb. through tomorrow. You will need a Remarkable card to get these prices.

Austin supermarket links (directs to weekly ads where available):
El Rancho Supermercado
Fiesta
H-E-B
Natural Grocers
Sunflower Farmers Market
Randall's
Sprouts Farmers Market
Sun Harvest
Wheatsville Food Co-Op
Whole Foods Market

A Public Health Worker in SXSW Court

I always figured if I was ever asked to serve as a SXSW panelist, it would be for something having to do with music. So imagine my surprise when good ol' public health got me into SXSW Interactive for the first time.

On Sunday morning, I was on a panel to discuss the use of social media to eliminate health disparities among minority populations. Although my program's forays into social media for HIV/STD prevention have been limited and inconclusive at best, I felt like I was at least able to convey the (ahem) challenges one must face when attempting to implement something new and not especially predicable at a government agency. That doesn't mean you can't change things in a bureaucracy, but it does mean you'd better take a mighty long view of things if you don't want to lose your head. It was great to hear that experience reaffirmed by several others while learning about their work.

Aside from going slightly over my allotted time (next time I do a panel presentation, I'm going to have a timer right in front of me), my only regret about SXSW Interactive has been not getting to fully immerse myself in it due to time-sensitive projects at work, gearing up for SXSW Music, Kate's busy schedule, tax preparation and wanting to see my son for a couple of hours over the weekend. There's a lot of potential synergy between emerging technologies and public health in everything from disease management to patient advocacy to data management. Here's hoping SXSW Interactive's embrace of health continues in coming years.

Fave Five Food Deals - 3/9/11

Before SXSW hits with full force, take advantage of this week's bargain sustenance deals from your friendly local supermarkets.

1. Red potatoes or green cabbage, .49/lb. at Sun Harvest (through 3/17/11)

2. Braeburn apples, .69/lb. at Sun Harvest (through 3/17/11)

3. Asparagus, $1.49/lb. at Sunflower (through 3/17/11)

4. Air chilled whole chicken fryers, $1.99/lb. at Whole Foods (through 3/16/11)

5. Real Ale 6-packs, $6.27 ea. at H-E-B (through 3/16/11)

Austin supermarket links (directs to weekly ads where available):
El Rancho Supermercado
Fiesta
H-E-B
Natural Grocers
Sunflower Farmers Market
Randall's
Sprouts Farmers Market
Sun Harvest
Wheatsville Food Co-Op
Whole Foods Market

Cloud Nothings "Should've Been"

I'm a sucker for heart-on-sleeve collegiate pop records like this one from Cleveland's Cloud Nothings, who'll be in Austin next week for SXSW. That goes double when it's accompanied by an infectiously cute-and-clever video I can easily appropriate for STD prevention work in my day job. This one is rife with choices and consequences. The rest of Cloud Nothings' self-titled debut is also pretty good if you like this sort of thing.

Soul Clapping on Wall Street

My old guitarist-turned-DJ pal Jonathan Toubin got written up in The Wall Street Journal a couple weeks back for his ever-popular Soul Clap 45 RPM dance parties, which are happening everywhere from Brooklyn to the Bahamas these days. He'll be bringing the Clap to Austin during SXSW, too.

Reporter Andy Beta got most everything right, but there was one curious passage I took issue with.

"I used to DJ records, CDs, mp3s and it never sounded good," Mr. Toubin, who is 39, said a few days after the party, his Texas drawl just breaking his otherwise speedy diction.

Folks, the only way anyone would think they heard a Texas drawl in the banter of Jonathan Toubin is if he spoke with a deliberately affected accent or if he told you he was from Texas and you imagined it.

Photo by Julie Paterson

Here Comes the Chronthlology

In conjunction with the Chron's 30th anniversary this year, UT Press is publishing The Austin Chronicle Music Anthology. This hulking, 314-page ride through Austin music history officially hits the streets a week from today with a big release party at Antone's. Chron music columnist Austin Powell, who co-edited the book with Austin Sound founder Doug Freeman, will reveal the full musical line-up for the party in weekly Off the Record column tomorrow.

UPDATE (3/3/11): The line-up includes Standing Waves, the Skunks, Kathy McCarty, the Gourds, the Crack Pipes, Poi Twang (featuring Twang Twang Shock-a-Boom's David Garza and Poi Dog Pondering's Frank Orrall) and special guest Daniel Johnston. Tickets here.

I'm jazzed about having a smattering of my work in the book. I didn't choose what stuff of mine went in, but I'm glad Austin and Doug used my oral history of Scratch Acid, my 1998 live review of Dale Watson at Ginny's Little Longhorn and my review of the Motards compilation, Stardom, among other things.

Although my opinion is obviously biased, I think Austin and Doug did a remarkably good job with this book. The photography is amazing throughout and the pre-online archive selections from the 80s and early 90s read like opening a window into Austin's past. The late Jeff Whittington's writing is some of the best music writing you'll ever read in Austin or anyplace else. And no one could do hilarious, spot-on snark like Michael Corcoran during his mid-80s run as music columnist.

In pulling together three decades of next week's bird cage liners, Austin and Doug wisely avoided a "definitive history" rubric, instead remaining steadfast to the rambling, tangent-prone vibe that - for better or worse - has traditionally defined the Chron's music coverage. It's a unique way to tell the story - and a very Austin one at that.

Fave Five Food Deals - 3/2/11

After an unscheduled week off, we're declaring Texas independence from high prices with another round of Austin's top supermarket deals.

1. Organic Fuji apples, .77/lb. at H-E-B (through 3/8/11)

2. Cantaloupes, .77/ea. at Sun Harvest (through 3/9/11)

3. Strawberries, $1.29/lb. at Sprouts (through 3/9/11)

4. Red, orange or gold bell peppers; Roma tomatoes, .77/lb. at Sprouts (through 3/9/11)

5. Chicken tenders, $1.97/lb. at Sprouts (through 3/9/11)

Austin supermarket links (directs to weekly ads where available):
El Rancho Supermercado
Fiesta
H-E-B
Natural Grocers
Sunflower Farmers Market
Randall's
Sprouts Farmers Market
Sun Harvest
Wheatsville Food Co-Op
Whole Foods Market

Out of the Fog

Owing to both a welcome batch of pre-SXSW writing assignments and an unwelcome kid sickness, I've been mired in blog silence all week. There's plenty to write about, but no time to write.

Alex's 1st birthday weekend was a lot of fun until his bronchitis morphed into a feverish ear infection. Most of my undershirts are now specked with tell-tale pink amoxicillin stains. The boy hasn't been himself all week, but I think he's slowly emerging from the fog.

As long as the supermarket grocery circulars go out on time, Fave Five Food Deals will return next week.

Happy Birthday, Alex!

A year ago at this time, Kate and I were slowly walking up and down our street in the chilly drizzle as contractions were becoming more and more frequent. The baby boy we'd nicknamed "Nubbin" wouldn't emerge until close to midnight, but he did manage to be born on February 19th, which puts him one day closer to 21.

Alex is a strapping 1-year-old today. The baby features are slowly but surely giving way to those of a little boy. Even so, he'll always be our baby.

Tired Old Dogs

This week, I found out I have plantar fasciitis in my left foot. The plantar fascia is the connective tissue that supports the arch of the foot. When this tissue gets inflamed, your heel really lets you know about it in a bad way.

The first line of treatment for plantar fasciitis is foot exercises that get the plantar fascia stretched before you get out of bed to take your first step. From there, it's on to more expensive shoes with better arch support, insoles, heel cups and whatever else might do the trick.

In the grand scheme of things, plantar fasciitis is hardly the worst thing that could happen to a body of my vintage. It still pisses me off, though. Anything that threatens my ability to take a daily health walk is threatening my ability to stay sane and fight the belly tire.

Most of all, it's a minor-but-irrefutable reminder of critical parts wearing down that pops up every time I take a step.

Fave Five Food Deals - 2/16/11

As a bulwark against rising food prices, here are five Austin supermarket deals that clock in at a buck or under.

1. Navel oranges, Rio Red grapefruit or mangos, .49/lb. at Sprouts (through 2/23/11)

2. Anjou pears, .77/lb. at H-E-B (through 2/22/11)

3. Organic Braeburn or Fuji apples, .99/lb. at Sprouts (through 2/23/11)

4. Broccoli crowns or cauliflower, .88/lb. at Sun Harvest (through 2/23/11)

5. Split chicken breasts, $1/lb. at H-E-B (through 2/22/11)

H-E-B thinks so highly of its store brand these days that they're willing to give it away. This week, they offer you a free box of H-E-B Frosted Shredded Wheat with the purchase of Kellogg's Frosted Mini-Wheats and/or a free loaf of H-E-B Bake Shop 100% Whole Wheat Bread with the purchase of Nature's Own 100% Whole Wheat Bread.

Fave Five Food Deals - 2/9/11

There's nothing sexier than that special someone who'll whisper the week's hottest weekly supermarket deals in your ear. Here are the sweetest next-to-nothings we could find for Valentine's Day.

1. Boneless ribeye steak, $4.97/lb. or coldwater lobster tails, $4.97/ea. at H-E-B (through 2/15/11)

2. Organic broccoli or cauliflower, .88/lb. at Sunflower (through 2/16/11)

3. Navel oranges or cantaloupes, 3 lbs. for $1 at Sun Harvest (through 2/16/11)

4. Organic Cameo apples (word up!), .88/lb. at Sprouts (through 2/16/11)

5. H-E-B Pure Cane Sugar Soft Drinks, 12-pack, $1.99* (through 2/15/11)

*with in-store coupon

Also at H-E-B this week, buy a 100- to 160-pack of H-E-B Baby diapers and get a free Cosco umbrella stroller with an in-store coupon. I can't vouch for Cosco strollers, but we've had pretty good luck with H-E-B Baby diapers. And they've got Clifford the Big Red Dog on 'em!

Austin supermarket links (directs to weekly ads where available):
El Rancho Supermercado
Fiesta
H-E-B
Natural Grocers
Sunflower Farmers Market
Randall's
Sprouts Farmers Market
Sun Harvest
Wheatsville Food Co-Op
Whole Foods Market

Texas Airports Add International Flights

Texas will finally get a nonstop flight to Australia this May when Qantas starts flying between Dallas/Fort Worth and Sydney four times weekly. Qantas is OneWorld partners with American, so the latter airline’s fortress hub at DFW should provide plenty of connecting traffic. This is a big shot in the arm to DFW’s relatively new International Terminal, which continues to lag behind Houston in terms of drawing new international flights.

Whenever Boeing gets around to delivering the 787, Continental/United plans to start nonstop service between Houston Bush Intercontinental and Auckland, New Zealand. Between that and Continental/United’s Houston-Lagos nonstop scheduled to launch in November, Houston will join Dubai, Abu Dhabi and Johannesburg as one of only four airports in the world with scheduled nonstop passenger air service to all six inhabited continents so long as you count the region of Australasia as a pseudo-continent.

Meanwhile, here in Austin, our international passenger service continues to be anemic. We’re barely able to sustain service to Cancun on an ongoing basis.

How to Make Out

In the wake of Junior Senior's demise following their compelling but largely unheralded 2007 sophomore album, Hey Hey My My Yo Yo (Rykodisc), vocalist Jesper Mortensen migrated from his native Denmark to New York and started Make Out with Leah Hennessey, who just so happens to be David Johansen's step-daughter.

Here's a little herky-jerk bubblegum punk blast called "What U Doing Later" from their debut EP, How To, due Feb. 22 (via PopMatters).

Warm Up with a Hot Bowl of Huey

Apathy Trend, the electrified version of a 90s-era Austin music zine by the same name that could usually be found near the front door of Sound Exchange, posted a short Q&A with the New Drugs today. Many thanks to Chuck Trend for the virtual ink.

We're revving up the Huey Lewis love machine again this Saturday at Ruta Maya alongside Boosy Cray, Serious Tracers and Ichi Ni San Shi, three fine local bands who still play songs they wrote themselves. Doors open at 8 and the good times start rolling at 9.

Fave Five Food Deals - 2/2/11

If you can stand the frigid wind chill, there are plenty of pre-Super Bowl deals to be had at Austin supermarkets this week.

1. Chicken sausage (all varieties), $1.99/lb. at Sunflower (through 2/9/11)

2. Haas avocados or beefsteak tomatoes, .49/lb. at Sunflower (through 2/9/11)

3. Rio red grapefruit, .25/ea. at Sprouts (through 2/9/11)

4. Small navel oranges, 10 for $1 at H-E-B (through 2/8/11)

5. Cuties clementine mandarins, 3 lb. bag, $3.99 at Sun Harvest (through 2/9/11)

This Friday at Randall's, get select varieties of Nabisco snack crackers for just 99 cents (limit 2 with Remarkable card). If you like Triscuits, this is an even better deal than Hill Country Fare Woven Wheats (which always taste a little stale compared to the real thing).

Austin supermarket links (directs to weekly ads where available):
El Rancho Supermercado
Fiesta
H-E-B
Natural Grocers
Sunflower Farmers Market
Randall's
Sprouts Farmers Market
Sun Harvest
Wheatsville Food Co-Op
Whole Foods Market

The Return of Bubble Puppy

I'm excited to hear that Bubble Puppy - 3/4 of the classic line-up, anyway - is reuniting at this year's Austin Music Awards. Although their legacy has long been in the shadows of fellow International Artists like the 13th Floor Elevators and the Red Krayola, "Hot Smoke and Sasafrass" was actually the Houston-based label's best-charting single, clocking in at #14 on the Billboard chart in 1969. Their sole album, A Gathering of Promises, is also worth seeking out.

Back in 2004, I interviewed Bubble Puppy guitarist Todd Potter and drummer David Fore on the occasion of Fuel 2000's rerelease of Promises. Their description of the band's up-and-down history was the stuff of movies. While writing the story, I actually drove over to Riverside Farms Road with Promises on the disc deck and tried to imagine what it was like in 1967, when the band lived and practiced in an old house on that street. To hear Potter and Fore describe it was positively idyllic.

One quick note about that story - the Municipal Auditorium where Bubble Puppy opened for the Who was in San Antonio, not Austin.

And finally, here is a very rare video of the band performing "Hot Smoke and Sasafrass" at an undated reunion show. I'm guessing it's from their mid-80s reunion, but it could be older.

Fave Five Food Deals - 1/26/10

While super-steals are in short supply in this week's round-up of Austin supermarket circulars, you can still keep a little change in your pocket with the following five sale items.

1. Asparagus, $1.49/lb. at Sun Harvest (through 2/2/11)

2. Organic Braeburn apples, .88/lb. at H-E-B (through 2/1/11)

3. Boneless pork loin roast, $1.97/lb. at Sprouts (through 2/2/11)

4. Wild caught mahi mahi, $2.97/lb. at Sunflower (through 2/2/11)

5. Sun Harvest veggie chips, 2 for $3 at Sun Harvest (through 2/2/11)

From Jan. 28 through 31, there are also some sweet deals to be had at Sun Harvest's 72-hour sale, including 6 oz. of blueberries for .97, Dirty Chips potato chips for .99 and half gallons of Blue Bell ice cream for $3.99.

Austin supermarket links (directs to weekly ads where available):
El Rancho Supermercado
Fiesta
H-E-B
Natural Grocers
Sunflower Farmers Market
Randall's
Sprouts Farmers Market
Sun Harvest
Wheatsville Food Co-Op
Whole Foods Market

Fave Five Food Deals - 1/19/11

Citrus takes center stage in this week's compendium of Austin's best supermarket deals.

1. Texas Rio Red grapefruit, .25/ea. or navel oranges, .25/lb. at Sun Harvest (through 1/26/11)

2. Strawberries, $1.88/lb. at H-E-B (through 1/25/11)

3. Boneless skinless chicken breasts, $1.77/lb. at Sun Harvest (through 1/26/11)

4. Natural Angus boneless beef shoulder roast, $2.98/lb. at H-E-B (through 1/25/11)

5. Alaskan haddock, $3.99/lb. at Sunflower (through 1/26/11)

Austin supermarket links (directs to weekly ads where available):
El Rancho Supermercado
Fiesta
H-E-B
Natural Grocers
Sunflower Farmers Market
Randall's
Sprouts Farmers Market
Sun Harvest
Wheatsville Food Co-Op
Whole Foods Market

Tight Trousers On a Wire Fence

Between proposed state austerity measures and the recent drying up of a steady freelance writing gig, my economic prospects for 2011 are increasingly bearish.

Maybe things have turned the corner, but the spoils of "recovery" will accrue largely to the investor class while people who work for a living will be asked to work harder for less.

Could things be worse? Absolutely. Will they get so bad that this looks good by comparison? I sure hope not.

Welcome to the Texas Century. Now step into those tight trousers and get up on that wire fence, boy.

Put This On: LBJ Buys Pants from Put This On on Vimeo.

Fave Five Food Deals - 1/12/11

The air is bone-chilling today, but we've got a swell set of Austin supermarket bargains to warm you right up.

1. Boneless beef top sirloin steaks, $1.97/lb. at H-E-B (through 1/18/11)

2. Red or green bell peppers, .49/ea. at Sprouts (through 1/19/11)

3. Asparagus, $1.77/lb. at Sunflower (through 1/19/11)

4. Gala apples, .67/lb. at H-E-B (through 1/18/11)

5. Organic Granny Smith or Fuji apples, .88/lb. at Sun Harvest (through 1/19/11)

Austin supermarket links (directs to weekly ads where available):
El Rancho Supermercado
Fiesta
H-E-B
Natural Grocers
Sunflower Farmers Market
Randall's
Sprouts Farmers Market
Sun Harvest
Wheatsville Food Co-Op
Whole Foods Market

Requiem for Unkgee

Gerry Rafferty, the Scottish-born singer/songwriter who gave us smash 70s hits like "Stuck in the Middle with You" and "Baker Street," died this week at age 63 from liver failure brought about by years of alcoholism.

While most will remember Rafferty for his music, I also remember him as the involuntary linchpin for a "Gerg and Zub's Fast Food Review" of Popeye's Chicken and Biscuits published by the weekly broadsheet 15 Minutes back in 1997.

This occasionally factual review appears below in Rafferty's honor.

I'm Popeye the Chicken Man!
Popeye's Chicken and Biscuits, 1978 Baker Street

Zub and I met when our dads formed the nucleus of the rhythm section behind a pre-"Stuck in the Middle with You" Gerry Rafferty. Gerry was like an uncle to us, hence his nickname "Unkgee." During the summer, our pops would let us traverse the country with the band in a dilapidated custom Chevy van with pot seeds all over the carpet. Those early tours with Unkgee made us wise beyond our three years.

We were also hungry a lot of the time. Our dads' cut of the gig take was even more meager than their share of the cocaine, so we subsisted mostly on crackers and Fresca. This lifestyle never set well with our mothers (whoever they were), but no piss-ant child welfare law was gonna remove Zub and myself from that happy, bouncy van.

One particularly joyful reminiscence of those high times is from 1972 when Unkgee pulled the van into New Orleans for a Tulane University show opening for Johnny Winter. It was raining, and we were cold, but our hearts were quickly warmed by the capacious hospitality of the promoter, a rotund Bossier City-bred cracker by the name of Sergeant Roofus Boudreaux.

To this day, neither Zub nor myself have heard words so sweet as those Sgt. Boudreaux spoke as we struggled to bring my dad's orange bass cabinet in through the back door of the auditorium: "Boys, drop your load and have some chicken!"

The Sgt.'s fried feast was the best darn food we'd ever tasted. Unkgee ate seven pieces of the delicious chicken along with several large handfuls of mashed potatoes and Cajun gravy. In fact, Ol' Unk would have choked to an early death if not for the whack of Zub's dad's hi-hat stand on the back of his fat neck.

"Hey, Roofus," uttered a blue-hued Unkgee. "Where's this good meat come from?"

"Why, I got it over at the Popeye's on Dopholopous Boulevard," said the proud Sgt. "Them spices will grow hairs on places your lady won't like."

Unfortunately, this batter-coated bash was short-lived. During that night's show, Zub's inebriated father played an unscheduled drum solo that went on for about 17 minutes. Immediately after the show, Unkgee fired him from the band. My dad protested by spitting a mouthful of Jax beer in Unkgee's face and calling him an ungrateful bastard. For his insubordination, he too was given the proverbial big pink slip.

Suddenly, us and our pops were shivering out in the smelly New Orleans rain without a song. Somehow, we'd all have to get back home to Worcester. Zub's pop said we could afford to bus it as far as Kentucky, but then we'd have to hitch. Unkgee had sold us right down the line.

The grounds for revenge were obvious even to the young minds of Zub and myself, but our dads could not decide the means from within their collective stupor. At that precise moment, a lightbulb went off in my tiny crown, and I began to shout, "Steal his wheel, Daddy! Steal his wheel!"

Our drunken dads began cackling like sailors. Zub's pop produced some tools, and our two heroes quickly removed the steering wheel from Unkgee's van. The journey home was rough, but every time things looked down, we pulled out that wheel and had ourselves a chuckle.

Of course, it was Unkgee who had the last laugh when "Stuck in the Middle with You" skyrocketed into the Top 10 shortly after this incident. Rubbing salt into the wound was the name of Unkgee's band: Stealers Wheel.

Which brings us back to Popeye's, the place where New Orleans is only a taste away. Sort of.

Popeye's modern chicken variation will never live up to the spice of that faraway evening, but this fried fowl still beats the cluck out of KFC. All fried material at Popeye's (fish, shrimp, onion rings, dogears, fries, etc.) has the same subtle seasoning to it that sneaks up on you like a flashback. And those red beans & rice and whipped potatoes are abused with an adequately Cajun-style gravy that makes other fast food taste vanilla by comparison. As an added bone-us, there's always plenty of Cajun Sparkle on hand to give your grub a bit of zip.

Let's face facts: Popeye's has about the biggest can of culinary whup-ass in the fast food industry, and Zub and I both will spare no measure to open up the aforementioned can on Mr. Gerry Rafferty's weenie-butt if he ever tries to play Sneakers.

Whastsa matter, Unkgee? You chicken?

Wanna Scare Some Babies?

Despite a projected $20 to $28 billion state budget deficit, third-term Texas governor Rick Perry's penchant for cutting corporate welfare checks to his crony capitalist friends continues unabated. And check out the diabolical AP mugshot accompanying this story. Someone needs to put that on a T-shirt and sell it for Halloween.

I Got the Six

Today marks the sixth anniversary of Beetsolonely's mildly auspicious launch. Although the angel investors have long since fled, we're still here, putting it all together with chewing gum, string and stubborn conviction.

Fave Five Food Deals - 1/5/11

Welcome to 2011, where the Austin supermarket bargain bounty continues unabated.

1. Green and red leaf lettuce, .49/ea. at Sun Harvest (through 1/12/11)

2. Rio Star Texas grapefruit, .19/ea. at Sprouts (through 1/12/11)

3. Large seedless navel oranges, .37/lb. at H-E-B (through 1/11/11)

4. Blackberries, 5.6 oz., .77/ea. at H-E-B (through 1/11/11)

5. Crios Malbec 2009, 750 mL, $9.99/ea. at Central Market (through 1/11/11)

Also, effective Jan. 5, Newflower Farmers Markets in Texas will be known as Sunflower Farmers Markets just like all the others. The Colorado-based chain previously had to use the Newflower moniker because a competing supermarket chain held the rights to the Sunflower name in Texas.

Austin supermarket links (directs to weekly ads where available):
El Rancho Supermercado
Fiesta
H-E-B
Natural Grocers
Sunflower Farmers Market
Randall's
Sprouts Farmers Market
Sun Harvest
Wheatsville Food Co-Op
Whole Foods Market

The Hyde Park (Tire) Slasher

Hyde Park residents are getting serious about apprehending a cunningly elusive tire slasher who has dogged the area for more than a decade. The increasingly gentrified Central Austin neighborhood plans to spend $10,000 on high-definition video cameras to help APD put the dirty rubber stabber away once and for all.

Police believe the slasher is a homeless man who is not unfamiliar to them, but they’ve never managed to get enough evidence to pin him on tire slashing charges.

The Statesman says tire slashing has been rampant in Hyde Park for 15 years, but I can personally attest that it’s been going on for at least 18 years. Back in 1993, when I lived in a decrepit apartment at the corner of 39th and Speedway, it wasn’t uncommon to see two or more cars with two or more slashed tires in the streetside parking lot. He never got me, though.