I went to San Antonio yesterday to hang out with my parents for their 39th anniversary. The tradition is to meet at the Menger Hotel around noon, have lunch at Schilo's Delicatessen, go swimming at the Menger pool (largest pool in downtown San Antonio!) and eat dinner at the Menger's Colonial Room.As we were winding down from dinner and drinks, I mentioned seeing an outpost of the Coyote Ugly Saloon empire and my mom decided we should go. I've never been to Coyote Ugly because I don't particularly enjoy having my sex drive marketed to. It makes me feel cheap. If I ever do go there, I think it would be best to do so without my mother in tow. My dad agreed wholeheartedly.
Instead, we went to the Ripley's Believe it or Not tourist trap across the street from the Alamo. Our tickets were $48, a ridiculous sum to walk through a gallery of mondo exploitation masquerading as history. I have nothing against exploitation per se, but it shouldn't be so damn expensive. I suppose it was better than Coyote Ugly, though.
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So, I went to the linked website to try to figure out what could possibly be worth $48. Don't use their map to navigate Texas or Florida, but definitely check out the Odditorium. The vintage footage is from back in the day when no one would be caught dead driving spikes into his head in anything but a suit and tie, a cigarette could class up any activity, and anyone who found something amusing about a woman sticking a long cylinder with a rounded end down her throat must have a dirty mind. As stupid human tricks go, these are pretty dang impressive.
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