Wednesday, February 16, 2005

Dr Disappointment

In the world of disappointments big and small, I'm like Robert Earl Keen: it's the little things that piss me off. With that in mind, let's talk about new Cherry Vanilla Dr Pepper.

Why is it not possible for our nation's soft drink bottlers to formulate a cherry-flavored version of their soft drinks? If a 15-year-old kid behind the counter at Dairy Queen can do it, why not the vaunted laboratories of multinational beverage behemoths? Cherry Vanilla Dr Pepper doesn't taste like cherry or vanilla. It tastes like a weak-ass batch of Dr Pepper someone swished around in their mouth and spit back into the bottle as a sick practical joke. And I thought the bottled version of Cherry Coke was bad.

It's a rare thing for me to get excited over a new product, but Cherry Vanilla Dr Pepper sounded like the soft drink of my dreams. I saw it on the TV and purchased it within 72 hours just like a good American should. I did my part and Dr Pepper let me down hard. Now I'm thinking about trying that weird Islamic cola from France to avenge my feelings of betrayal.

By the way, one of the fringe benefits to getting a journalism degree is going to parties and telling people who don't care that the "Dr" in "Dr Pepper" doesn't have a period after it.


jennifer said...

I feel your pain. There is nothing quite as disheartening as a disappointing soft drink. If anyone had witnessed me taking the first sip from a bottle of Lemon Diet Coke, they would have seen a sourpuss indeed. Lime Diet Coke isn't too bad, though...

pero said...

A R T I F I C I A L F L A V O R S <- the reason.

Vanilla Coke tasted more like syrupy butterscotch than vanilla. I can mix a mean vanilla coke with just enough to be noticed, but not so much that it has a bitter aftertaste or make the fizz fizzle out.

Artificial Cherry I am sure sucks as bad as artificial vanilla flavoring. the Diet Cherry-Vanilla Dr Pepper - combines both of the artificial flavors, so it has got to be pretty bad - especially considering it is also sweetened with yet another artificial flavor.

(yuk) chemical overload.

Anonymous said...

I was actually thinking of trying that new fruity 7-Up that has the "Sex & the City" gals in the commercial, but perhaps now I won't.

Terri R.