Tuesday, June 20, 2006

Whither Northcross?

Today's Statesman discusses the pending redevelopment of Northcross Mall, excitedly hinting at the possibility of a new Wal-Mart like that's some sort of manna.

The plan is to demolish part of the existing mall while building a parking garage and additional stand-alone retail that will increase the total amount of available space by about a third. Whatever goes into Northcross, it'll undoubtedly be more exciting than the pathetic smattering of retail in there now.

Aside from Guitar Center and early voting, I almost never go to Northcross. Actually, I did buy a flannel shirt for $4 at Beall's several months back, but that shopping experience was tainted by a nearby salesman yammering loudly on his cellphone while passing copious amounts of gas. Whatever happened to the genteel days of stepping outside for a fart walk?

4 comments:

Kilian said...

You're showing your age there Greg. These kids never heard of a fart walk. Tell us more.

booberrypancake said...

I don't know what a fart walk is, but if I'm in public and need to break wind, I just GO TO THE BATHROOM. (because if you can't fart into the toilet, where CAN you fart?)

Greg said...

Much like one would step outside for a smoke, some of us like to step outside for a fart walk. The walking does a fine job of jostling the pent-up flatus toward expulsion - plus it's good exercise. It's polite to avoid fart walking on a crowded sidewalk unless you're trying to make a point.

Kilian said...

Oh I see. I once went on an involuntary fart walk through an orchard with my grandfather (the farter) and a tree salesman (another involuntary participant).