Wednesday, May 17, 2006

Don't Feed Waffles to Animals

There was a bit of excitement early last Saturday morning at the Smokey Park Highway Waffle House in Asheville, North Carolina when a bunch of whites got into it over immigration with a bunch of Hispanics.

“The two groups were jawing back and forth with each other over citizenship issues and whatnot,” Asheville Police Lt. Wallace Welch told the local paper.

As the Hispanic group drove away, someone in the car fired a gun through a plate glass window. One man in the restaurant sustained a bleeding arm from either flying glass or a richocheted bullet.

A quick listen to the amusing, Cops-worthy 911 call made by this man offers a good indication that the whole mess was fueled by copious amounts of alcohol. In the South, not being able to tell the difference between Waffle House and Huddle House is like blowing a .22 on your breathalyzer.

I don't care about what plot of soil you arbitrarily entered this mortal plane on, what ethnicity you are or what god you pray to. Any man who can't sit there and eat his motherfucking waffles in a reasonably pacific manner should be stripped of the right to call himself a man, for he is nothing more than a savage beast with a driver's license.

2 comments:

Uncle Mark said...

Tell us what you really think.

"Motherfucking waffles" ? Priceless!

You should also be able to smoke a cigarette in peace outside a Denny's!

LaMuerta said...

Race wars at the Waffle House. Sweet tap-dancing Jesus, NC truly is crackerland. I can't wait to get the hell outta here.

PS: I personally feel a person should be able to smoke a cigarette in peace INside a Denny's, but sadly, those days are gone-daddy-gone.