Caught Up with Millie Jackson

Georgia-bred R&B diva Millie Jackson comes to Austin on Friday, July 15 at Doris Miller Auditorium. In Jackson's case, "R&B" could just as well stand for "raw and bawdy." Although she can be heard spinning tunes afternoons on KKDA-AM in Dallas, Jackson hasn't played Austin in awhile.

Jackson's adultery song-cycle Caught Up (1974) and its follow-up, Still Caught Up (1975) are two of my favorite Southern soul records of the Seventies.

Backed with the rhythm of the Muscle Shoals Swampers, Jackson uses each side of Caught Up to tell the story of a love triangle from both the other woman's and the spurned wife's point of view. The album ends with an amazing remake of Bobby Goldsboro's "Summer (The First Time)."

Still Caught Up starts with the wife's side and ends with the other woman going insane while pleading for her married man on Mac Davis' "I Still Love You (You Still Love Me)." Jackson used to end her concerts by having men in white coats wrap her up in a straight jacket and drag her off the stage as she sang this song.

Her last LP, 2001's Not for Church Folk, was released on her own Weird Wreckuds imprint. Go to Jackson's official site to hear a snippet of the lead single, "Butt-A-Size."

Hoky Smokes, That's My Old Place!

My old duplex at the corner of I-35 and Crestwood was the lead story on KVUE's 6pm newscast yesterday because some moron in a high-speed police chase crashed into it in a pickup that didn't belong to him. The current residents were not home at the time and there were no serious injuries. I can't find any photos on KVUE's website, but I'll post a photo if I can find one.

UPDATE: Click here to access video from KVUE (registration required). The name of the story is "Chase Ends with Truck Hitting House."

Frankly, I'm surprised something like this didn't happen sooner. The duplex itself was a nice, comfortable domicile when I lived there from 1995 through 1998, and I could hold band practice in the living room because no one in the other unit could hear us playing.

However, the duplex's proximity to I-35 (basically right under the exit ramp to Airport Blvd.) meant you saw car accidents on a regular basis. There was a late night high-speed police chase while I lived there in which some guy took out the signpost at the curb, but I'm pretty sure no one put a vehicle into the living room wall until Tuesday.

There was also one successful and at least one foiled break-in while I was there, courtesy of the neighborhood drug addicts. Because all the I-35 service road traffic was headed in one direction with no view of our back porch, would-be burglars could stand there indefinitely while trying to jimmy their way inside.

One night I came home to the sound of someone trying to do just that, so I bellowed "HEY!" in the meanest voice I could muster. Whoever it was ran off before I could get outside and stab him in the eyeball with a dirty steak knife.

I wonder if that would've made the news?

Stories from the House of Ram

Ram Wall Painting
Originally uploaded by H. Michael karshis.

H. Michael Karshis has started a blog called Stories from the House of Ram to gather stories about Ram Ayala and Taco Land. Everyone is encouraged to contribute.

On Sunday, there was a memorial show at Taco Land to close the book on the legendary San Antonio bar. "Now that Ram is passed and gone, there is no more Taco Land," said Robert Tatum, a friend of Ram's, in yesterday's San Antonio Express-News. "It's over. None of us are even thinking twice about continuing to run it."

Money raised at the show will go to help the two surviving employees, bartender Denise "Sunshine" Koger, 41, and doorman Douglas Morgan, 53, who were also shot at the bar early Friday morning. Koger and Morgan are at University Hospital. Both are listed in stable condition.

Centennial Liquor Demolished

I was driving down North Lamar yesterday when I noticed the Centennial Liquor at the corner of Lamar and Brentwood next to the Yellow Rose has been reduced to a pile of rubble. Too bad. Where are these poor kids going to get their sixers now?

Enduro and the Crack Pipes

After wishing Brandon Tucker of Xcella and Coco Candissi reknown a happy birthday over at Billy's last night, I took in an extra-fun show at Beerland. It was Enduro's first show in five years and they flailed tightly like they hadn't missed a beat. The trio's scratchy blues-punk assault just feels right at a joint like Beerland. I hadn't seen the Crack Pipes in awhile and they were also enlivening. Their latest LP, Beauty School is a peach that tastes different with each bite.

You know you're getting older when it takes a reunion show to get your ass out on the town.

More on Ram and Jon Dee Graham

Today's San Antonio Express-News expands on the circumstances surrounding the shooting death of Taco Land owner Ram Ayala early Friday morning. Police say they have no leads on the shooter and his accomplice. The story also contains reaction from friends and family. Everyone seems to have a good yarn about Ram involving booze and words you can't print in a family newspaper.

Hopefully the two men responsible for this stupid, senseless murder will read today's paper and start to realize what they've done.

Over on the more positive side of humanity, last night's Saxon Pub benefit for Jon Dee Graham's six-year-old son Willie was a lot of fun. I walked in just as the Skunks (Jon Dee on guitar, Jesse Sublett on bass and Billy Blackmon on drums) were playing "Gimme Some." They also did an immoliating workout on "Sister Ray."

Roky Erickson and his brother Sumner played a short acoustic set that included "You Don't Love Me Yet," "Splash 1" and "Starry Eyes." All great songs, often imbued with very personal connections for lots of us Texas rock fans young and younger. Roky is still pretty tentative by "normal" performance standards, but he's looking better than I've ever seen him in my time in Austin.

For a band that hasn't played together regularly since the Reagan administration, the Standing Waves delivered an amazingly cohesive set. The Delinquents (Lester Bangs' backing band during his Austin stint) were also fun to watch. I was either too young, or not yet born in Roky's case, to see these groups the first time around, so it was good to see them now for an equally good cause.

Jon Dee Graham's son has a rare condition called Legg-Perthes, which causes the head of the femur to lose blood and die. Although Graham had health insurance, his provider declared Chapter 11. Now Willie has a pre-existing condition and no one else will cover it. You can find out more and donate to Willie's health fund via PayPal here.

America isn't the worst country in the world, but until we do something about the robber-barons denying us affordable health care, there's no way in hell we'll ever be the best.

Taco Land Owner "Ram" Killed

In the midst of the Spurs' victory, we have some very sad news out of San Antonio today. Taco Land owner Ramiro Ayala, 72, better known as "Ram," was fatally shot at the legendary bar early this morning. He died at Brooke Army Medical Center at 2:25am.

An unidentified 40-year-old woman and 54-year-old man were also shot and were listed in critical condition at San Antonio's University Hospital. Initial reports are sketchy, but police believe two suspects exchanged words with the victims and at least one of them began shooting. The suspects apparently took the money from the bar's cash register and fled in an unidentified vehicle.

Ram opened Taco Land in 1965 at 103 W. Grayson, selling food to workers from nearby bottling plants. The old Pearl Brewery was right around the corner. He converted Taco Land into a bar in 1969. The bar became a celebrated punk rock venue in the Eighties, immortalized in the Dead Milkmen's 1987 song, "Tacoland."

I only played at Taco Land a few times, but two of those times included memorable Ram encounters. The first was in 1993 at a Noodle gig with Gut and Boxcar Satan. I'd broken up with my girlfriend of two years earlier that day and was lucky to have even completed the 78-mile trek to San Antonio on account of a rapidly dying car battery. I couldn't wait to get inside the bar and pop a cold Pearl to calm my nerves before the show. Unfortunately, I'd left my driver's license in Austin and my youthful appearance made it difficult to even get into Taco Land, let alone drink.

"If I catch you drinking," Ram warned, "I'll have your motherfuckin' ass thrown in jail!"

Needless to say, I was one sober 24-year-old that night.

About a year or so later, Noodle was back at Taco Land and I had my I.D. firmly in hand this time. We were right in the middle of a particularly sweaty set and I was bowled over in some ridiculous spastic contortion with my eyes closed. Then I felt something ice cold press against my forehead. I looked up and was pleasantly surprised to see Ram trying to hand me a Pearl for my efforts. I remember thinking that was about as close to winning a Grammy as I'll ever get.

photo by Mark Greenberg, www.nightrocker.com

R.I.P., Ram.

Goodbye, TEX, and Good Luck

"Welcome to TEX, the Telephone Enrollment eXchange for the University of Texas at Austin."

Anyone who attended UT in the early Nineties will recall that utterance by Senior Vice President William Livingston from the semesterly ritual of registering for classes by phone. Compared to "running" for classes at the Erwin Center's adds-and-drops circus, TEX was a godsend. It didn't necessarily make getting the right class any easier, but at least you could salve your frustration with a cool Mickey's Bigmouth in the comfort of your own domicile.

UT began online registration in 1997, slowly but surely eroding the number of students using TEX. Today, almost 99 percent of students register online. After 15 years of service, UT will disconnect TEX forever on July 15 at 5pm.

If you need to hear Livingston say, "Goodbye and good luck" one more time, call (512) 475-9950.

Primary Voters Can't Get Kinky

Kat's question about how to get Kinky Friedman on the 2006 ballot for governor reveals a heinously anti-democratic catch-22 in Texas' election code. Kinky needs 45,000 signatures to get on the November 2006 ballot. He will have up to two months to collect these signatures following the March 2006 Republican and Democratic primaries. However, none of those signatures can be from people who vote in the primaries.

In other words, you can sign the petition for Kinky or you can vote in a party primary, but you can't do both.

So what do you do if you want to break the two-party stranglehold and send Perry packing? Perhaps informal swapping of Kinky signatures for Strayhorn primary votes is the answer. If this is illegal, it's a law I'd be proud to thumb my nose at.

If you would like to "save yourself" to sign Kinky's ballot petition by not voting in the primaries, the Friedman campaign has a abstinence-style purity pledge you can sign.

Grandma and the Rickster

Unless both Rick Perry and Carole Keeton McClellan Rylander Strayhorn get caught in bed with the proverbial dead girl or live boy, it's hard to imagine a scenario in which the Governor's Mansion is occupied by someone other than a Republican come January 2007.

That said, I'm looking forward to an extra nasty run-up to the 2006 Republican Primary. Perry may have the hard right thumpers and their money, but One Tough Grandma isn't going down without a fight. Bush is wise to steer clear of the whole mess by refusing to endorse either one of them.

Perry's reign has been ineffectual at best and downright hateful at worst. His callous insinuation that gay veterans who want to marry should leave Texas is a telling window into his soul. Lacking Bush's cracker barrel charm offensive, Perry finds it difficult to command respect even within his own party. He's a lightweight who subsists on the political leavings of others.

Some left-leaning folks I've talked to don't like Strayhorn because she's a showboating blowhard whose politics are only a few insignificant degrees from Perry's. That may be true, but I still think she'd make a better governor because her experience (State Comptroller, Railroad Commissioner, Mayor of Austin) entails having a grasp of how government actually works. Strayhorn has also demonstrated a nominal interest in improving public education in Texas, while Perry's overriding goal in school finance reform has always been property tax relief for the wealthy. Most importantly, I kind of like the way Strayhorn says "Hawgwash!"

Trading Strayhorn for Perry would be a shallow victory, but it could work as the opening shot in a long-term repudiation of the status quo. In order to make sure it's not just the lunatic fringe of party faithful choosing the next governor of Texas, it's not a bad idea to consider voting in the 2006 Republican Primary even if you're not one. Assuming he makes the ballot, you can still vote for Kinky in the general election. Why the hell not?

Alamo Rolling Roadshow 2005 Tour

This summer, the Alamo Drafthouse takes its creatively unorthodox approach to motion picture exhibition on a 12-date tour of classic movie shooting locations throughout the Western U.S.

The 2005 Rolling Roadshow Tour kicks off Friday, August 19 with a showing of The Last Picture Show in Archer City, Texas. Director Peter Bogdanovich is scheduled to attend. Not only will you have the rare opportunity to see The Last Picture Show in what’s left of the Royal Theater (which burned in 1965), you can visit author/screenwriter Larry McMurtry’s Booked Up stores, four world-renowned rare book emporiums which are scheduled to close at year’s end.

The rest of the tour itinerary is no less impressive:

August 21
It Came From Outer Space 3D
Roswell, New Mexico

August 23
Once Upon a Time in the West
Monument Valley, Arizona

August 24
Planet of the Apes
Lake Powell, Utah

August 26
Repo Man
Los Angeles, California

August 27
Sideways
Los Olvios, California

August 28
North By Northwest
Bakersfield, California*
*Bakersfield stood in for the Midwest in the infamous Cary Grant crop-dusting scene

August 30
Bullitt
San Francisco, California

September 1
The Goonies
Astoria, Oregon

September 3
Close Encounters of the Third Kind
Devil’s Tower, Wyoming (!)

September 5
Cat Ballou
Buckskin Joe’s, Colorado

September 7
Hud
Claude, Texas

If it wasn’t so far away, I’d really love to see Close Encounters at Devil’s Tower. They’re even having a mashed potato sculpture contest before the film!

Tornadoes: Run or Hide?

Big news in the world of tornado survival instructions. A study in last week's American Journal of Epidemiology found that people who decided to flee from the massive May 3, 1999 tornado that devastated the Oklahoma City area had better survival odds than those who stayed put.

Traditionally, you were never supposed to try and outrun a tornado in a car. Twisters don't have to follow roads and a car is no match for a tornado if you make the wrong turn. Mobile homes are well-established as easy prey for tornadoes, but for some people in the path of the F5 storm that hit Oklahoma, anything short of being below ground wasn't enough to ensure survival. Fortunately, F5's are rare beasts in the tornado spectrum.

It definitely makes sense in any case to get out if you're in a mobile home, but you'd probably still be better off in a closet or bathroom than in a car unless you're dealing with an especially destructive tornado. Real-time forecasting of how damaging a tornado will be from moment to moment is a young science, and it's hard to imagine an orderly "tornado evacuation" without more warning time.

I'd feel really stupid getting in a car wreck while trying to flee a tornado that doesn't even rustle the leaves on my porch. Especially if I'm not wearing pants.

More Wacky Cable Woes

I met up with my parents for a pre-Father's Day repast in La Grange Saturday. We had a fine old time, but they were somewhat disturbed by the foul language and angry rhetoric in the last post about my ongoing telecommunications problems. Perhaps I was a bit too colorful in expressing my exasperation. It's usually not a wonderful idea to use words that would get you booted out of Dairy Queen when yer moms is reading.

In case you don't know my parents, I wasn't raised that way. I learned all the bad words I know from cable TV. In fact, everything that's wrong with me is Time Warner's fault.

My latest plan is to call Time Warner Monday morning and tell them no one indicated my TiVo box would not work on a digital phone line. Therefore, I want to cancel the digital phone while retaining cable and Internet at the same package price I was initially quoted. Then I'm going to call Grande and try to get my old phone back as a standalone product.

While it will cost a bit more than keeping everything bundled with one company, the difference is negligible and it's the most economical work-around I can think of that gives me Time Warner's superior cable signal and an analog land line to run TiVo (not to mention use as my primary phone). If that doesn't work, I can take TiVo to a friend's house, do the initial setup on their phone, construct a home wireless network and run TiVo via broadband. Or I can just start paying $10-12/month for Time Warner's DVR, which I've heard is sorely lacking compared to TiVo.

I'll let you know how things turn out with Time Warner and Grande, and I'll do my right darnedest not to use to swear words when doing that unless I absolutely have to.

Friday Night Meltdown

My cable conundrum has degenerated into a bona fide clusterfuck. Switching back to Time Warner resolved the shitty TV signal issue I was having with Grande, but because their digital phone system is voice-over Internet protocol (VOIP), I can no longer connect to TiVo to download program information. This renders my TiVo box (and the $300 lifetime service contract) worthless.

I've wasted the entire evening figuring this out and I'm about ready to start filling jelly jars with gasoline. The sanity spring is just about to pop loose and unleash a torrent of gut-rage. This is just the sort of thing that sends me right over the goddamn edge. It's a miracle I haven't actually destroyed anything. Yet.

Graham Central Station

A week ago today, the Austin area finally got its own Graham Central Station mega-club. Located in an unsightly big box just off I-35 in Pflugerville, GCS's "six clubs for the price of one" concept is based on the mall food court school of commerce. You have the "Denim & Diamonds" country beer barn, a biker-themed classic rock bar called "Choppers," the "Alley Cats" karaoke club, an unabashed Top 40 danceteria called "Z," the Coyote Ugly-styled "Wild Cats" with tank-topped honeys dancing on the bar, and an imaginatively-monikered live music room called "The Live Room."

Several years ago, attorneys representing Graham Central Station showed up at my neighborhood association meeting to try and explain why the club would make a great tenant at ailing Northcross Mall. I love the nightlife at least as much as Alicia Bridges, but having North Korea nuke Northcross would've been better for my neighborhood than having Graham Central Station there. Their business model necessitates an extra high volume of alcohol, and their primary target market appears to be guys with just enough beer money to become a genuine public nuisance. Perhaps that sounds elitist, but who wants a bunch of drunken buffoons careening through their quiet residential streets at two in the morning?

I'm pretty sure at least one person at our association meeting said the club would be better off if they chose a more northern location and that's exactly what they would up doing. It was a smart move in more ways than one. By opening in Pflugerville, Graham Central Station will duck Austin's new smoking ordinance when it goes into effect in September. Nevertheless, I doubt we'll see the denizens of Room 710 and Beerland fleeing up I-35 to drink Coors Light and listen to Big and Rich.

How I Spent My Summer Vacation

Click here to view some disposable camera photos from my recent West Coast soujourn and relive the magic one more time.

Mississippi Senators AWOL on Lynching Apology

Although Mississippi led the nation in the number of Jim Crow-era lynchings (Texas came in third), neither one of its senators was on hand to cosponsor a Senate resolution apologizing for not doing anything to stop the lynchings.

Sen. Thad Coleman says he couldn't sign on because he had to make an official trip to the Paris Air Show. Thurmond-lovin' Sen. Trent Lott had no comment on the matter.

While the lynching apology is primarily a PR move that does nothing to right past wrongs, the Mississippi senators' conspicuous absence speaks volumes about how far they'll sink to court the support of dead-end racist scumbags. Our own Sen. John Cornyn keeps Texas from looking much better by being another one of the senators that didn't cosponsor the resolution.

Although the House passed anti-lynching legislation three times in the first half of the 20th century, Southern senators derailed it for decades via filibusters. Because this week's apology was passed by voice vote rather than roll call, senators didn't have to go on record as opposing the resolution. As it is, guys like Lott can use their inaction to get out the racist vote while maintaining a thin veneer of plausible denial.

Given the GOP's spirited defense of its diversity in the face of Howard Dean's recent attacks, I was quite surprised to learn all of the senators currently on record as not cosponsoring the lynching apology are white Republicans.

Border Wars

While we were busy watching Michael beat it, Mexican federal troops assumed control over Nuevo Laredo Monday, replacing the local police force in an effort to curtail the spiral of drug trafficking-related violence that has plagued the city of 500,000 on the Texas-Tamaulipas border. Alejandro Dominguez, Nuevo Laredo's newly-appointed police chief, was assasinated last Wednesday after only six hours on the job. Troops will interrogate all 700 local officers, many of whom are suspected of being in the pocket of warring drug lords.

An estimated 600 people have been killed in trafficking-related violence this year, most in border cities. As a result, many affluent Mexicans at risk for extortion have sought refuge in Laredo while American tourists have stayed away in droves. It's going to be increasingly difficult for the U.S. to pretend that a river and some barbed-wire will keep Mexico's turmoil "over there." For a fuller perspective, take a look at NPQ editor Nathan Gardel's timely Huffington Post piece about the "Colombianization" of Mexico.

Spurred to Apathy

Unless you consider arena football a major league sport, the San Antonio Spurs are the closest major league sports franchise to Austin. There's a championship series on national TV happening 78 miles down the road and the Spurs appear to be heading for another NBA title. I couldn't care less.

Being from Texas, I'd rather have San Antonio beat Detroit, but I can't make myself get into it like I would if the Houston Rockets or the Dallas Mavericks were playing. It makes sense for Houston to be my favorite team since I grew up there, but even though the Mavericks didn't exist when I lived in Dallas, I still like them better than the Spurs.

Actually, the Spurs were the Dallas Chaparrals back then, but no one cared. They wound up having to play some of their home games in Lubbock because attendance in Dallas was so bad. I didn't even know the Chaps existed as a kid. It was mostly Cowboys with a small side of Rangers. Even the old Dallas Tornado NASL soccer team got more play.

Although the Spurs were the Rockets' closest rival, I never particularly disliked them. Hell, you had to like Billy "Whopper" Paultz. I've always liked San Antonio as a city, too. I like the team's lack of celebrity and the fact they don't come from a major media market. I just can't work up a lather for the Spurs. Is there something wrong with me?

In-N-Out Update

True to their customer-friendly nature, I received this prompt e-mail reply from In-N-Out Burger regarding the possibility of expanding into Texas:

"Although we are unable to confirm a site in Texas at this time, we plan on expanding as far as we can, and particularly into areas in which our customers have expressed interest. As such, we are happy to let our Real Estate Department know that you are anxious to have an In-N-Out Burger® location in Texas!"

That, of course, is a public relations answer, but no company in its right mind is going to officially reveal expansion plan specifics prior to closing the deal. After all, I could be a spy for Whataburger for all they know.

Incidentally, Whataburger will have to get its act together if In-N-Out comes to town. In terms of quality, the Corpus Christi-based chain's product fares well against existing fast food outlets in Texas, but consistency varies wildly from store to store. Some Whataburgers run like a well-oiled machine, while others sputter about like an old lawn mower. I've never been to a middling In-N-Out Burger.

Based on their feedback, I'm going to predict we'll see an In-N-Out Burger somewhere in Texas before the next presidential election. Even if that doesn't pan out, California burger fans will be happy to know that Fatburger has announced plans to build in Austin, San Antonio, Dallas/Fort Worth and Houston.